Dear Heero April 20th After Colony 1910
Laying in my darkness, feeling numb though as I feel numb all the pain rushes through my being, through my soul. I shiver as I lay here on my side I am void of clothes though the darkness surrounds me I feel venerable to the judging eyes that I can see, they can’t really see me yet they ever stare. Ever their voice speak to my ear as cold pointless words that have no real meaning to me.
I shiver as I lay here with my black wings splayed out from my nude back, brown chestnut locks tumble down my back, like a wave falling over the cold black lake that my frame lay on. The lake was once a frozen white lake, now it has been turned to black from my tears, from my black blood that has been trickling from the place where my heart once was. In place of my heart is an empty void. Ever since the day I entrusted you with my heart. Foolishly I did this blindly little did I know that this would be a fatal mistake to ever trust another.
Now I lay here cold alone and helpless bleeding out I have been bleeding out for an age I do not know light. I do not know love all I know is to bleed out alone. I have not found a reason no reason has found me.
Long, long, long on, on, on, I lay here in a timeless room that will never be remembered I shall never be found. I shall always be laying here in hell to bleed out upon the ground. Ever on and on the blood rushes, ever on and on the blood gushes creating this black lake of forgotten love, of drowned and destroyed hope. Where Trust has sunk into the depths to never be seen again.
I cry a frozen tear drop that falls to the black lake to crack upon the surfaces to cause black diamonds to sprinkle over the lake making a clinking joyful sound in this none joyful place.
I am still breathing, I still look toward where the sky might be though in this utter darkness there is no horizon. My senses have been damped. Even thus my now dulled amethyst gaze still holds to the sky. As if there is a shadow, a hallowed haunting of what perhaps hope might be. Clinging on to your deep blue gaze that ever seems to look down on me through all the judging eyes I do not heed. Thee eyes are the only one I care to see, your judgment upon me is the only one I care to hear. Your face your voice is the only one that will save me. I shall stay here waiting tell the day you find me where I have been beaten and battered where I fought for you for us for our love, all I wanted was to be with you and happy forever.
You and I were stolen apart ripped away by time and age. By life time after life time through the swirling vortex in space. We have been separated my love yet I feel you always, watching over me with those big bright blue eyes. I hear you voice calling to me I have heard your words now for nearly and endless age.
The sound has driven me out of my mind I am lost without my other half I am one part of a whole when we are together we are the perfect whole. Tell then harmony about shall stay chaotic the earth will fade the stars will blow away….
Until the day we are allowed to be reunited once more.